IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

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Childhood is one of the most important growth stages in life. Learning the difference between wrong and
right
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 in
this
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 stage is crucial, and punishing is necessary for
this
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. I personally agree with
this
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 viewpoint. On the one hand, there are some reasons why some people think that punishment is not a good way. First and foremost
is that
Verb problem
,
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children
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’s behaviour can be changed over the years. By
this
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 I mean,
when
Correct word choice
that when
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children
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 are growing up, their friends or society has significant effects on their personality or behaviour.
For example
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, a child who is a pupil even if was trained about wrong and
right
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 might ignore them because of his surrounding
that is
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 filled by some students who did not learn
this
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 distinction.
However
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, the early age is the best learning period in
children
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’s lives.
In other words
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, in
this
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 period the
brain
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brains
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 and personalities of
children
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 are being shaped, and
children
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 are impressed by their parents or teachers. It is reasonable that parents and teachers should be allowed physical and nonphysical punishment, but it is important to consider
this
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 tool at the correct time and way because misused punishment might foster
children
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 to continue wrong activities.
For instance
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, if a child
who was
Verb problem
is
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 tempted by his friends and commits theft, his parent can punish him by cutting his friendship with that friend at that time.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, there are some reasons why learning the difference between wrong and
right
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 at an early age is important. The reason
such
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 as brain and personality shaping in childhood is one of the prominent causes. Using various punishments in
this
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 way can be allowed by parents and trainers, but it should
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 at the
right
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 time.

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task response
Your essay discusses both sides of the argument but lacks clarity and depth in your arguments. You need to present a more balanced and nuanced view on the topic. Provide specific and relevant examples to support your arguments and ensure you fully address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas are not fully developed and the logical structure is weak. You need to improve the flow of your ideas and use cohesive devices to connect your thoughts more effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
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