A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill

Finance management is an essential life skill that needs to be learnt and practised, yet it is not well handled by most youngsters of current times because of insufficient education about
money
management. In
this
essay, reasons for poor
money
handling by young adults will be discussed,
along with
suggestions to tackle
this
problem. The reasons for one's inability to manage
money
are manifold. The most preponderant reason is not having enough experience to deal with real
money
.
In other words
, fresh graduates,
although
, might have learnt about dealing with cash in real-life situations, they,
however
, may not have enough practice to spend
money
wisely.
For instance
, a fresh graduate of high school, who has started a part-time job, spends all his hard-earned income on gaming because he has not learnt to allocate
finances
for various purposes.
Besides
, the digital payment systems of the modern world
also
hinder some
people
's ability to track
finances
, as they can not physically see the
money
being spent. Certainly, financial management education would help
people
keep an account of their spending and savings.
This
education can be provided as a mandatory subject in high schools so that students are confident to manage their
finances
when they transition into the next part of their life. The government could
also
run educational programs at workplaces to educate all
people
about debits, credits, and savings.
Thus
, a targeted program to teach
this
important life skill can save
people
from becoming defaulted on their financial obligations. In conclusion, as discussed above, there are some reasons why
people
struggle to manage
finances
;
however
, attending educational programs can absolutely negate the effects of poor
money
handling.
Submitted by shifa.maliha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Connect your ideas more clearly to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs supporting main points, and a conclusion. Ensure a smooth transition between ideas for better coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • real-world applications
  • consumer culture
  • credit facilities
  • financial independence
  • practical financial literacy
  • manage finances
  • financial responsibility
  • money management
  • financial planning
  • tailored
  • accessible
What to do next:
Look at other essays: