Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned others however believe that people should be free to choose sport activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Sports
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are a popular phenomenon among
people
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, and many are interested in playing it.
However
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,
sports
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are divided into two types dangerous and safe ones.
Therefore
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, many
people
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believe that grave
sports
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should be forbidden to protect themselves,
while
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others think differently; they believe that choosing a sport is an option, whether safe or grave. From my perspective, I believe that everyone has the option to choose their preferences.
This
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essay will debate and analyze both ideas. On the one hand, several
people
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believe that
health
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is highly valued and they should protect it from any harm.
In other words
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, if someone loses their
health
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, they will certainly lose their life;
therefore
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, if a serious sport is chosen, the body will be more susceptible to injury, and sometimes some
people
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become disabled.
For example
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, many players become disabled since choose the wrong sport,
hence
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, they regret losing because they lost their movement ability,
This
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is the reason why they are supposed to prevent dangerous
sports
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.
On the other hand
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, others believe that choosing activities is an option
as well as
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their responsibility. It is
also
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possible to say that everyone is free to decide what
sports
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activities they want to participate in since no one has the ability to decide on them. Take climbing hills as an example. Many
people
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underwent
this
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experience, and now they are in very good
health
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. Since you asked them if they want to repeat
this
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experience, they will say yes, and certainly God will protect us. Ultimately, there are two types of
people
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: those who prefer to experience grave
sports
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as it is free to choose and they believe that life is one and they want to live it and do whatever they want,
while
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others who want to forbid these
sports
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because they believe that
health
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is highly valued and they want to protect themselves.
Submitted by talahakoura27 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Try using linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
Task Achievement
In terms of task response, try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your main points and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that contributes to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear opening and closing to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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