Music is considered to be a way to connect people from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

Since the beginning of modern human race history, the one thing which is

music

was always used to break the communication obstacle

also

diminish connection gaps whether they come from the same cultures and ages or not. From my experience, I strongly agree that

music

takes a crucial part in human connection.

First

of all,

music

was widely utilized to express their emotional state

such

as anger, grief, frustration, eagerness

also

joyfulness without saying a single word from their mouth. Even more, people who belong to different civilizations or eras hearing the

music

can understand what they are trying to say without any communication barrier.

For example

, in ancient recorded history, native Americans had traditional

music

composed for war to reveal their eagerness to fight and braveness as well as vigour to their enemies who come from other tribes with different languages. In

this

case, its purpose was to break the rival's heart without mentioning any word and it always worked perfectly. On top of that, the melody is always utilized to represent their

love

and awareness of their cared ones.

Therefore

, an enormous amount of songs only related to

love

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

made by artists

Change preposition

apply

show examples

throughout

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

history.

For instance

, a study published by Oxford University investigated that nearly 95% of all individuals who participated in experiments considered their

first

love

when they listened to one of the most widely recognized

love

songs. Based on these results,

music

can be understood by all kinds of human beings without any age or gender restrictions. In conclusion, feelings which are represented by

music

directly affect others' minds and

also

can be recognized by other individuals easily without any hinder.

Hence

music

can be considered the most widely spoken language in the world.

Submitted by iheeihbayar1 on Wed Jan 18 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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