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Band 5

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures
The number of homeless people is growing in many large cities
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
 the world.
This
 essay will attempt to explain what the main reasons are and what type of measures could be taken to face them. From my point of view, I believe that increasing prices and the difficulty
to find
Change preposition
of finding
show examples
 a good salary could be the main causes
while
 the solution is in the hands of the government. Starting with the causes, it is well known that year by year prices and the cost of living are rising and becoming more expensive to common workers.
For example
, if people want to go to have lunch at a restaurant, they will spend more money nowadays than five years ago for the same menu. Other examples could be the rise in tariffs not only at restaurants but
also
 at shopping malls, supermarkets, or cinemas. All of
this
 growth in prices
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
the population who were middle-class but with
this
 current situation are at risk. The second reason could be the competitive labour system that countries have, which demands all qualifications from employees but without the same guarantees that existed a few years ago, with all workers around 50-60 years old being at risk. Turning to the question of the measures, the government might help these homeless people by providing funding and a house to start again but
also
, it would be necessary to control the inflation of the market because if not, more and more individuals will be seen in the same situation.
To conclude
, I think that the rise in price and the instability in the work field are the main reasons for
this
 growth and I believe that the state should provide help to the population who are suffering in
this
 current situation.
Submitted by carlos.terapiaocupacional on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly respond to the essay prompt and provide a summary of the main points. The ideas should be presented in a logical order.
task achievement
Provide a clear and comprehensive response to all parts of the essay prompt. Use relevant examples to support your ideas and ensure that your ideas are focused and well-developed.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and accurately. Consider incorporating more formal and academic vocabulary related to the topic.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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