IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unquestionably, every
parent
Use synonyms
 loves their
children
Use synonyms
, and there are no
parents
Use synonyms
 were not love their
children
Use synonyms
. One of them buys a
toy
Use synonyms
. Another belief is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parent
Use synonyms
 should not buy a
toy
Use synonyms
 for their
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will describe the advantages and disadvantages and discuss them in a sensible conclusion. On the one hand, in childhood, buying toys for their
children
Use synonyms
 motivates them. There are advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as
children
Use synonyms
 obeying their
parents
Use synonyms
 and developing their creativity and imagination. In
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, it is important to make
children
Use synonyms
 always be happy in their childhood.
For instance
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 give toys because their
children
Use synonyms
 have won mathematics competitions.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
parents
Use synonyms
 gave the
children
Use synonyms
 a reward, which will be an encouragement in their studies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some of the drawbacks make it problematic. Giving toys to
children
Use synonyms
 can cause spoiled. Generally speaking, it is not good if
parents
Use synonyms
 give a
toy
Use synonyms
 respectively.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 will become lazy and not have spirit because
children
Use synonyms
 think whatever will be given by
parents
Use synonyms
 easily. Interestingly,
Parents
Use synonyms
 have
this
Linking Words
 trait, and they love their
children
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
parent
Use synonyms
 will not allow feeling sad for their
children
Use synonyms
 because they have felt it.
As a result
Linking Words
, many
parents
Use synonyms
 love their sons too much. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
parent
Use synonyms
 gives a
toy
Use synonyms
 to their
children
Use synonyms
, hopefully, it becomes a motivation and giving something as much to
children
Use synonyms
 is not good.
However
Linking Words
, its pros and cons can be neglected, and it will depend upon the
parent
Use synonyms
's mindsets and which view they favour
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: