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Band 7

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Do advantages of working at home outweigh diadvantages?

#people #computer #telephone #job #home #diadvantages
In
this
 globalization era, so many people get used to the utilization of technology, on behalf of computers and telephones to simplify their jobs anywhere. I believe that the advantages of working from
home
 outweigh the disadvantages.
This
 essay will explain the reasons and my thoughts on
this
 idea.
Firstly
, for people especially those who live in the cities, it is more efficient to
work
 at their places rather than commuting every day to the workplace. It
also
 makes the most efficient of the time by reducing the traffic jams that often happen in big cities. Especially, when the distance from
home
 to the offices is quite far away.
Secondly
, workers who
work
 from
home
 could manage their time to do the
work
 lists on their own. They could prioritize their tasks and focus on doing them one by one and not be distracted by their friends at the office. So that they might finish their tasks in a given time.
Thirdly
, it could save the costs either transportation costs, wardrobe costs, or the one that spent to buy makeup. If we do not need to go to the office,
then
 we would save our money to buy some
work
 clothes, and maybe some makeup
that is
 necessary if
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 go to meet people. With online meetings, you do not have to dress up like you dress up for offline meetings.
To sum up
, the benefits of working at
home
 are definitely bigger than when we go to the offices.
Additionally
, there are technologies that simplify our lives and our
work
 now can be done everywhere.
Submitted by gestienanovitasari on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, indicating to the reader what to expect in the essay.
logical structure
For better logical structure, try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a specific point and supporting sentences. Avoid abrupt or unclear transitions between ideas.
supported main points
Develop the main points with more detailed explanations, relevant arguments, and examples where possible. This will strengthen the argument and display a better understanding of the task.
complete response
A complete response should fully address all parts of the task with a balanced discussion. Make sure to cover both the advantages and disadvantages thoroughly and decide if one indeed outweighs the other.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas with comprehensive explanations and more detailed sentences. Use more complex structures to express nuances in your argument.
relevant specific examples
Add specific, real-life examples to support your points. These illustrate the arguments and make them more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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