Some people believe that the internet has positive effect , others think that It has negative trends .Discuss both views and give your opinion .

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationships, News, and other things are so different from the past because now we can do these works with the
Internet
;
also
, the
Internet
has a lot of good points, and some people like these effects, but a group of people think about the disadvantages of it which is too much. In my opinion, the second view is trusted
due to
the fact drawbacks of the
Internet
,but
Istill
Correct your spelling
I still
believe that these can overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, using the
Internet
has several merits in our lives.
Firstly
, we can do our work with the
Internet
extremely fast with less cost.
For example
, you must transport money to your friend, and when you want to go to the bank you have to spend a lot of
time
going to the bank;
furthermore
, spend money for transportation;
in contrast
, using the
Internet
for transport needs a little
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and money for the
Internet
.
Secondly
, you can use the
Internet
to connect with your
friends
and family who live in other districts when you want with some applications
such
as Skype, Google Meet, and other items. To illustrate, when I used to study in Tehran, my parents lived in Najafabad;
then
I spoke with my family via Google Meet.
On the other hand
, the negative influence of the
Internet
on our lives is really high. When people use the
Internet
to do their work earlier,
then
they do not have any physical activity;
therefore
, they become sick.
For instance
, I want to eat a sandwich. Later I order it on the
Internet
from the nearest restaurant which has a pack to send it;
hence
, I do not walk or do activities to buy my food. The other result of our social living and destruction of some local stores.
In other words
, when you speak with your
friends
all the
time
on the
Internet
;
then
you do not want to spend
time
with them in the cafe; so , the cafe that you go there with
friends
is closed;
therefore
, you cannot find new
friends
.
To conclude
, it appears to me that the drawbacks of the
internet
cannot eclipse the advantages.
Nevertheless
, The
internet
helps us to improve our lifestyle.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task. However, ensure that your viewpoints are balanced and make sure to explain why you might disagree with the opposing view in more detail.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear. However, improve the clarity of your arguments by avoiding minor grammatical and lexical errors. Try to use more varied sentence structures to keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized. However, improve logical flow by using more transition words and phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present. However, consider making your conclusion stronger by summarizing all your main points briefly before providing your final opinion.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples, which support your points well and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The main points of your essay are sufficiently supported, which adds strength to your arguments.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: