IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is now very easy to get all the news we need online, so there is no longer any need to pay for newspapers or expensive magazines. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#news #newspapers #magazines #development
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Nowadays, many people access the internet to find
information
 faster and cheaper than paying for newspapers.
This
 becomes a benefit for readers who need data
while
 challenging for
news
companies
.
First,
reading online
news
 websites can do it everywhere and at any time. Especially will help people who have job-related prime-time
information
, which can help them to more easily do their actions.
For example
, traders rely on the economic
news
 for trading stocks in the right positions, where they often depend on bad economic
news
 to buy many stocks at the lowest prices and
then
 sell in higher positions
while
 businessmen utilise the
news
 to boost their revenue from their products.
Besides
 that, it is truthfully cheaper and does not need more space or waste paper. Reading free
information
 or joining subscriptions gives more offers and discounts that sometimes cannot be got by
offline
 subscriptions.
Furthermore
, people who live in small houses do not need to keep their magazines or paper things in their storage and can use their computers or laptops.
However
, it has bad effects on
news
companies
 that cannot adapt their strategy to selling their
information
 in modern ways. They need to do both selling
news
offline
 and online since the essential things in
news
companies
 come from
offline
 papers.
To conclude
, online
news
 is more capable and relevant to readers
while
 for journalists
companies
 can face hard challenges to maintain their work and profit. It will be useful if the media use many strategies to keep the readers' interest in various ways on both sides, where
offline
 reading will be still used on several kind occasions.
Submitted by nabilah.sasa09 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing clarity in your main arguments to make them more easily understandable.
task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples to support your points, adding depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
You address both sides of the issue (benefits for readers and challenges for news companies), creating a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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