IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that schools are no longer necessary, because students can get so much information through the Internet, and study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #students #information #internet #study #home
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Since the
inovation
Correct your spelling
innovation
 of digital learning
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 appear in the middle of
pandemic
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the pandemic
a pandemic
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 situation, the learning activity has moved to
online
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the online
an online
show examples
 form. In order to that, most people are of the opinion that gaining
education
Use synonyms
 from institutions like
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 is unnecessary. In fact, students can get knowledge from
internet
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the internet
show examples
 as technology has dramatically increased.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pupils can study
remote
Change the word
remotely
show examples
, the presence of teachers is outweigh everything, and
therefore
Linking Words
 I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
The access
Correct article usage
Access
show examples
 to information is greatly unlimited and easy to get. There is a drawback
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advance, which can lead pupils to access
unappropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
show examples
 content since
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
provide
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provides
show examples
 too much information. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 is we can easily
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 random students barely talking with nice attitudes and meanings because they
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
saw
have seen
show examples
 it
from
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on
show examples
 social media and online games. If they spent their whole day with their gadget, it will destruct their character and personality. While the role of
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 is to provide a positive environment and broaden their ways to be competent and prosper as a person.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the majority of parents are can not stay 24 hours watching their
kids
Use synonyms
 and guiding them to learn. If the
kids
Use synonyms
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 individually, nobody will
gave
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give
show examples
 enough attention to them and
this
Linking Words
 can lead to
confusing
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the confusing
a confusing
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 for them. From the beginning, one of the aims of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 is to watch their
kids
Use synonyms
 and make sure that they have a good quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
kids
Use synonyms
 still require guidance and someone who can tell them the good and the wrong things.
Spent
Wrong verb form
Spending
show examples
 their time at
school
Use synonyms
 is a good decision, so that teacher, who is
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 field can educate them and lighten
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 burden. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 institutions
are still play
Change the verb form
are still playing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
paramounth
Correct your spelling
paramount
 job in terms of
prepare
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preparing
show examples
 our
kids
Use synonyms
 to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 society. I did not give a view that pupils no need to attend
school
Use synonyms
 anymore. Indeed, all the
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
inovations
Correct your spelling
innovations
innovation
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 life
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
, yet we can not forget that
education
Use synonyms
 is way more than books and knowledge.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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