IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people say that a person's success is a result of the way they have been bought up their parents

#people #person #success #parents
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Many individuals argue that a person's
success
Use synonyms
 is a result of the way they have been raised
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their background. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea of statement. Though it is true that
Use synonyms
success
Correct article usage
the success
show examples
 of the individual
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 reason is about how they are helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
 for chose their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my earlier
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 I attended
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of courses and it makes
a
Correct pronoun usage
it a
show examples
little bit easy to find my field. The
second
Linking Words
 reason is if their
parents
Use synonyms
 grow up their
children
Use synonyms
to
Add the comma(s)
,to
show examples
 be honest it will be easy for their improvement.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 I recently noticed that 35%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 are honest from around the world and almost 34,5% of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 achieve
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their aims faster
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 others. Other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
parents
Use synonyms
 did not impact for
success
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
. Because from their point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
right
Add an article
a right
the right
show examples
 decision without their
parents
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 they can achieve
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their business by making mistakes.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 they
are consider
Change the verb form
consider
show examples
 that
parents
Use synonyms
 did not impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their life because growing up by
parents
Use synonyms
 is effective.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 growing
children
Use synonyms
 by
parents
Use synonyms
 it is effective because
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 most occasions they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
receive education outside. Overall, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
partly true that
Use synonyms
children
Add a verb
arechildren
werechildren
show examples
 able to achieve their
success
Use synonyms
 without
parents
Use synonyms
. But it would be faster
achieve
Fix the infinitive
to achieve
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
 by helping
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
 and mother.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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