Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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As technology continues to grow, having mobile phones becomes a necessity. While they are seen to be a provision of bad influence, one can't argue with

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

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benefits. In my opinion, if used wisely phones can be very useful to assist with use for day-to-day tasks. Since

Remove the comma

apply

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the future is advancement in computers and programming, it's better to get along with it than to fight it.

Firstly

Linking Words

, everyone has a phone with them nowadays. While, that can be in light of safety, connections and security,

but

Correct word choice

apply

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the internet has

became

Change the verb form

become

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essential.

For instance

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, a student travelling alone at night

Remove the comma

apply

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needs a phone to ensure

it's

Correct your spelling

its

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well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

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Hence

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, as

Add an article

a society

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society

Add a comma

,society

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we can't deny the fact, that how

dependant

Replace the word

dependent

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we have become on technology. Expanding on that, the school gives us a chance to learn and gain confidence.

This

Linking Words

confidence shapes our adult life and can be a key to many major events.

Furthermore

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, a cell is just

the

Correct article usage

apply

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part of advancement where everything is controlled under

human

Add an article

the human

a human

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touch.

Hence

Linking Words

, if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents feel like a phone is causing harmful

affect

Replace the word

effect

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on their child, they can introduce ways to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

usage.

Moreover

Linking Words

, advancement and technology shouldn't be pushed too far but rather be humbly learned and accepted.

Additionally

Linking Words

, supervision and active lookouts can be a way to ensure that children are safe. In conclusion, active usage of a device keenly depends on the routines and procedures at home. In my opinion, nothing is grey and black and facts can be shortly changed if the adults are willing to put in the extra work.

pratibhabhatia02Thu Jan 19 2023

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe the government should spend money on building trains and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children.