IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #cell #phones #children
As technology continues to grow, having mobile phones becomes a necessity. While they are seen to be a provision of bad influence, one can't argue with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 benefits. In my opinion, if used wisely phones can be very useful to assist with use for day-to-day tasks. Since
,
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apply
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 the future is advancement in computers and programming, it's better to get along with it than to fight it.
Firstly
, everyone has a phone with them nowadays. While, that can be in light of safety, connections and security,
but
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apply
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the internet has
became
Change the verb form
become
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 essential.
For instance
, a student travelling alone at night
,
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 needs a phone to ensure
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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.
Hence
, as
Add an article
a society
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society
Add a comma
,society
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 we can't deny the fact, that how
dependant
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dependent
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 we have become on technology. Expanding on that, the school gives us a chance to learn and gain confidence.
This
 confidence shapes our adult life and can be a key to many major events.
Furthermore
, a cell is just
the
Correct article usage
apply
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part of advancement where everything is controlled under
human
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the human
a human
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 touch.
Hence
, if
the
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parents feel like a phone is causing harmful
affect
Replace the word
effect
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 on their child, they can introduce ways to reduce
the
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apply
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usage.
Moreover
, advancement and technology shouldn't be pushed too far but rather be humbly learned and accepted.
Additionally
, supervision and active lookouts can be a way to ensure that children are safe. In conclusion, active usage of a device keenly depends on the routines and procedures at home. In my opinion, nothing is grey and black and facts can be shortly changed if the adults are willing to put in the extra work.
Submitted by pratibhabhatia02 on

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