many people say that a person`s success is a result of the way they have been brought up by their parents

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I agree with many people and
belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that parenting leads to success for their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Ferstly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
First

If you don’t want Ferstly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, it is
support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

family
Fix the agreement mistake
families

It seems that family may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
difficult
Add an article
a difficult

The noun phrase difficult time seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times

It seems that time may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is
financial
Change the word
financially

Financial seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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accompanied. For
succes
Correct your spelling
success

If you don’t want succes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

kids in
future
Correct article usage
the future

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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family aid
plying
Correct your spelling
playing

The word plying doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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important
Correct article usage
an important

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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role.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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chalenging
Correct your spelling
challenging

If you don’t want chalenging to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

days and when
man
Add an article
a man
the man

The noun phrase man seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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falls his household is always by his side.Still mother and father
support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from the financial side.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after
lose
Change the form of the verb
losing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb lose. Consider changing it.

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business father does not
absndon
Correct your spelling
abandon

If you don’t want absndon to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

his son or
doughter
Correct your spelling
daughter

If you don’t want doughter to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. But have
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people who have
achievied
Correct your spelling
achieved

If you don’t want achievied to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their work without the
support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the family.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after Such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who grew
without
Change preposition
up without

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parents.These guys help each other to build the
futur
Correct your spelling
future

If you don’t want futur to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.Perhaps Steve
Jobs
Change noun form
Jobs's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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owner company Apple achieved
everythink
Correct your spelling
everything

If you don’t want everythink to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
himself

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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without native people.He
craeted
Correct your spelling
created

If you don’t want craeted to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

from scratch.Was founded in 1976 by Steve Jobs and Ronald Wayne.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

company
located
Add a missing verb
is located

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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Cupertino
Change preposition
in Cupertino

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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California.They produce products
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as phones,
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets

It seems that tablet may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops

It seems that laptop may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,audio and others.If the
placeof
Correct your spelling
place of

If you don’t want placeof to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
ti
Correct your spelling
to

The word ti doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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spoil the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they will not be able to master the
hurd
Correct your spelling
hard

If you don’t want hurd to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

life in the future.You need to
support
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.You are building the future you are like
arrowe
Correct your spelling
arrow
arrows

If you don’t want arrowe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

showing where to go.
Everythink
Correct your spelling
Everything

If you don’t want Everythink to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is in your hands

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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