All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #aﬀects #children #adults #rise

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays a bunch of people deal with obesity disease. Which

due

Add a missing verb

is due

show examples

to a couple of

factor

Change to a plural noun

factors

show examples

that

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

how someone

grow

Change the verb form

grows

show examples

This

issue

attack

Correct subject-verb agreement

attacks

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

any level

start

Wrong verb form

starting

show examples

from kids

until

Change preposition

show examples

marriageable.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

essay will

be discuss

Change the verb form

be discussed

show examples

detailed

Replace the word

detail

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the excuse

fattiness

Change preposition

for fattiness

show examples

getting increased. Corpulency

being escalate

Change the verb form

being escalated

escalating

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

time seeing that the pattern of dietary

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

is bad. Mostly society believed that as long as they eat less food

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

will run well. In the fact,

incorrect

Correct article usage

an incorrect

show examples

pattern to consume a meal without

Change preposition

apply

show examples

balance with exercise is the highest potential

accure

Correct your spelling

cure

fatness. One

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

after

Add a missing verb

is after

show examples

finish

Wrong verb form

finishing

show examples

ingest

Wrong verb form

ingesting

show examples

some cake or other

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

sleep

Wrong verb form

sleeping

show examples

soonly

Correct your spelling

so only

show examples

This

kind of way indirectly

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fat develop easily. Based

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the case

Change preposition

apply

show examples

obesity, it can cope by

change

Change the verb form

changing

show examples

the life

stlye

Correct your spelling

style

particulary

Correct your spelling

particularly

the rut of food, physical training, and slumber. By

arrange

Change the verb form

arranging

show examples

wisely and

applied

Wrong verb form

applying

show examples

in some particular

periode

Correct your spelling

period

periods

of time it can assist to reduce the matter of

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

Therefore

, it

Add a missing verb

is crucial

show examples

crucial

Add a missing verb

is crucial

show examples

thing to be consistent and have a good mindset to reach the goal. In nutshell regarding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

case, it's preferable to notice the food normally consume with doing

workout

Add an article

the workout

a workout

show examples

Hence

, the body can

optimalise

Correct your spelling

optimise

between the output

come

Correct pronoun usage

that come

show examples

in as well as the energy that

Change the verb form

goes

show examples

out from the body.

Submitted by febriantyhasanah on Thu Jan 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?
There is no denying the fact that many folks want lifts living near where they were born. This is a well discuss several reasons for them and many advantages and disadvantages they will be faced.
4.5
band
Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?
In the epoch, education is vital role in children life, however, many guardians give preference to teach their children at homes rather than choosing education centre for them. according to me demerits outrace of merits, because everyone needs educational environment which parents cannot provide it. i will explain it in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, one predominate reason for teaching children at their home that is children strengthen their relations with family members. To explicate, if anyone thought by parents at their homes then they can spend their more time with knowperson rather than spending time in schools. Secondly, who child teaches in homeshool. they will more selfdepended in their upcoming life rather than those students who take classes in schools. On the other hand, there is prominent factors which agree with taught should be in schools. Chiefly, homeshool would be negative effect on students manners such as, discipline, how can treat with others and how they ca...
7.5
band
Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some individuals say governments should spend the budget on the health sector rather than other departments,while some argue that there are other important parts. However,I have a balanced opinion regarding this issue, which a combination of the essential fundamentals of people's living standards is the best way forward.
5.5
band
Some cities create housing areas by providing taller building. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?
Nowaday, the population is increasing and the area of land used is shrinking. So, creating housing areas by providing taller building is better than creating housing by building houses on a wider area of land.
5.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. A friend told you recently that he/she had gone to an excellent restaurant. You wonder if this restaurant will be suitable for your birthday party next week. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter tell your friend about your planned party ask what the restaurant is called and for directions to get there ask what kind of food it serves and if your friend has any particular recommendations from the menu You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Pat,
It was great to hear from you last week and know about an amazing experience you had at a restuarant you went with your family. I wondering if I could get some more details about that place since, I was planning to celebrate my birthday and I think it could just be the right spot.

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller building. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?