Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their wealth and glamour rather than their achievements, and this sets bad example to young people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #wealth #glamour #achievements #sets #people

It certainly cannot be denied that nowadays

celebrities

are more famous for their money or glamour rather than their achievements. I personally believe that

this

sets bad example for young

children

. I definitely agree with

this

situation. Being famous for achievements is more important both for

children

and themselves. The disadvantages of

this

development are twofold. On the one hand, it is vitally important that in recent years more and more

celebrities

are popular for their wealth. It has negatively affected our lives and society. Because the

children

might be more incapable and lazy

people

. We need real capabilities and actual stars.

Moreover

, there are few real capabilities year by year. I personally believe that it has actually made the world a much worse place.

On the other hand

, it can cause a loss the power in many parts of the world.

Furthermore

, if

celebrities

are popular for wealth,

then

children

may have no good teachers.

Moreover

, individuals will not be interested in

celebrities

' works. There are not only rich

people

but

also

poor

people

living in the world . There are a lot of poorer but more powerful

children

who cannot show themselves. For

this

reason, the government should control

celebrities

and their power. The way of my conclusion, I reiterate my position that nowadays many

celebrities

are more famous for their money or their glamour.

However

, it has a lot of drawbacks for today's

children

and poorer families. I am sure most

people

would agree with my opinion.

This

such

a complex problem that I do not believe any real solution will be found in the near future.

Submitted by asqar4997 on Thu Jan 19 2023

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their wealth and glamour rather than their achievements, and this sets bad example to young people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

In many countries, imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think about the best way to improve road safety is to make vehicles driver take a test every year.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

‏Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think te advantages of driverless vechicles outweigh the disadvantages?