IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn through experience that can benefit society?

#people #skills #society #kinds #benefit
In today's world, education plays a vital role in everyone's life.
However
, some
people
 concur that graduate
people
 are more valuable than non-degree holders who acquired knowledge in those fields through
experience
. In my opinion, it depends on the profession. In
this
 monograph, I will elaborate on more details and
thus
 lead to a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence that is obtainable for substantiated reasons. The top-notch concrete reason is that companies give priority to educated
people
 over experienced non-degree holders, even
through
Correct word choice
though
show examples
 they are good in skills, they are likely to get less salary than graduate
people
.
For instance
, children's parent won't trust their teachers without academic qualifications. Another which hauls me that proton is that educated
people
 organize tasks very effectively and have good communication skills. Needless to say, all these points stand in good stead. To be more specific, agriculture and other sectors like arts, farmers and musicians can acquire knowledge by involving in practical
experience
 and benefits to society.
For instance
, in order to be successful programmers, they can learn skills through practical
experience
. The rearmost coherent factor which cannot be neglected is a person who holds a degree can get more salary than non-degree
people
. In short, the inducement of education on the bright side is self-evident. In recapitulation, I reiterate that education plays significant roles in some fields
such
 as doctors, teachers and etc.
However
, companies won't recruit a non-skilled person.
For instance
, Facebook owner Mark dropped out of school in middle, joined as an internal programmer in a start-up company and acquired knowledge through practical
experience
.
As a result
, he's one of the top richest men and many degree holders are working under him.It totally relies on the professions
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: