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Band 5

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #beings #people #development
The
technology
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technological
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 revolution
bacame
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became
 an essential part of our lives, today world relies
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 work
acheivment
Correct your spelling
achievement
 on
computers
, they save time and effort and
garantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 a high level of precision in work, and according to that many questions and fears
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
 and began to be asked loudly about the replacement of human being by these
computers
. A huge population of
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 find
this
 machine development will have so many negative impacts,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 point of view is so understood, because it seems very
clearly
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clear
show examples
 that
computers
 will lead people to lose their
jobs
,
sence
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since
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 development of them is so rapid and their
intelligent
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intelligence
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 rate is increasing with time. one of the obvious facts in
business
Add an article
the business
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 world,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 leaders and
companies
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company
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 founders look to cut off
money
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the money
show examples
 and looking for more layoff through companies, and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
 mean a
desaster
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disaster
 for the employees. In my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I strongly believe that these machines will never be able to
relace
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replace
show examples
 the human being
,
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apply
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 because we create
it
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them
show examples
, and we can control
it
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them
show examples
, there is no way that they will have the complete ability to replace us,
instead
those machine
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that machine
those machines
show examples
 will help the community to create so many new
jobs
. it is true that there will be so many
jobs
will
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that will
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 never
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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needed to be done
by
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apply
show examples
,
on the other hand
, many new
jobs
 will
became
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become
show examples
 needed like working in
developing
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development
show examples
, programming, data science, and testing
jobs
, and
this
 will not only for these related to IT field, but when
computers
bacome
Correct your spelling
become
 more
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
, the rate of
acheivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 will increase, that means more projects will
begins
Change the verb form
begin
show examples
 in
defferent
Correct your spelling
different
 fields, and more
jobs
 opportunities will be available. In conclusion, we should set in mind that these
computers
been
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have been
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 founded to make
humans
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humans'
human's
show examples
 life
more
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apply
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easier, so
serve
Wrong verb form
serving
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 humanity should be
number
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the number
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 one
priorety
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priority
, and efforts should be oriented
for
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 that,
copmuters
Correct your spelling
computers
commuters
 are not our masters, but humanity slaves.
Submitted by dinaruqti on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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