IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that social media platforms are having a negative effect on society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #platforms #effect #society
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Nowadays, social
media
platforms
 have become one thing
that is
 related to the daily activities of millions of
people
 in the world.
While
 some individuals argue that these
platforms
 have negative effects on
society
, I believe that their
impact
 is more nuanced, encompassing both positive and negative aspects. Ultimately, I partially agree that social
media
 has negative effects, but I
also
 recognize its potential to have a significant
impact
 on spreading good news or
information
 to
society
. One of the primary concerns about social
media
 is its effect on the social life of
society
 and makes
people
 become more individualistic. It is an
impact
 of the higher number of
people
 using their social
media
 and taking the majority of their time in a day.
People
 often compare their lives with other
people
 and it makes their self feeling insecure.
Moreover
, social
media
platforms
 lack privacy if it’s used by irresponsible
people
 and use their social
media
 to violent action.
For instance
, at the start of July before, on social
media
, there were bullying actions which targeted public figures who used luxury facilities of public transportation.
However
, it is essential to acknowledge that social
media
 can provide an effective and efficient tool for spreading good news or
information
. In the age before the social
media
 era, when we want to spread news or
information
, it will take some days and some great effort to engage with many
people
. In conclusion,
while
 I agree that social
media
platforms
 have a negative
impact
 on
society
.
On the other hand
, it
also
 gives us an easier way to spread
information
 and it is a revolutionary era when we use social
media
 for the first time.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Ensure that all of your main arguments are supported with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your response.
task achievement
Attempt to explore the topic slightly more in depth by presenting additional points or counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs follow each other logically, with clear transitions and a consistent flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and a thoughtful conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the potential positive impacts alongside the negative effects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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