IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that social media platforms are having a negative effect on society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, social
media
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platforms
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 have become one thing
that is
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 related to the daily activities of millions of
people
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 in the world.
While
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 some individuals argue that these
platforms
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 have negative effects on
society
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, I believe that their
impact
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 is more nuanced, encompassing both positive and negative aspects. Ultimately, I partially agree that social
media
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 has negative effects, but I
also
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 recognize its potential to have a significant
impact
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 on spreading good news or
information
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 to
society
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. One of the primary concerns about social
media
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 is its effect on the social life of
society
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 and makes
people
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 become more individualistic. It is an
impact
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 of the higher number of
people
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 using their social
media
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 and taking the majority of their time in a day.
People
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 often compare their lives with other
people
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 and it makes their self feeling insecure.
Moreover
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, social
media
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platforms
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 lack privacy if it’s used by irresponsible
people
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 and use their social
media
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 to violent action.
For instance
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, at the start of July before, on social
media
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, there were bullying actions which targeted public figures who used luxury facilities of public transportation.
However
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, it is essential to acknowledge that social
media
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 can provide an effective and efficient tool for spreading good news or
information
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. In the age before the social
media
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 era, when we want to spread news or
information
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, it will take some days and some great effort to engage with many
people
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. In conclusion,
while
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 I agree that social
media
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platforms
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 have a negative
impact
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 on
society
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.
On the other hand
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, it
also
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 gives us an easier way to spread
information
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 and it is a revolutionary era when we use social
media
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 for the first time.

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task achievement
Ensure that all of your main arguments are supported with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your response.
task achievement
Attempt to explore the topic slightly more in depth by presenting additional points or counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs follow each other logically, with clear transitions and a consistent flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and a thoughtful conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the potential positive impacts alongside the negative effects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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