IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Today People are no longer active and fit as they use to be due to the nature of work nowadays, What are the causes of this? What solutions can you proffer

#people #nature #work
Nowadays , individuals are not very healthy and energetic because of their careers.
This
 occurs due to several factors
such
 as a large pressure of workload and lack of
time
 for workouts, while some viable solutions that are reducing the quantity of office
work
 and providing possible breaks to the
employees
 could be helpful to some extent.
People
 are unable to spend
time
 on themselves because of some reasons in these recent times. Excessive
work
 on job places is the primary reason for
this
 problem.
Employees
 must have to complete their tasks on
time
 without any delay. Managers are highly strict toward them and demand overtime
also
 for completing their office
work
 . one common example of
this
 can be currently seen in IT jobs which require those individuals who have the ability to
work
 for long hours. Another possible reason is the shortage of
time
 for doing exercises.
People
 are busy managing their family and career life
instead
 of thinking about their health which could lead to various health issues
such
 as being overweight and heart stroke. There are
also
 some possible things that allow
people
 to give
time
 to themselves. The prime solution is that managers must reduce the amount of workload on their
employees
. They should provide lesser
work
 to them every day. The most important other solution is that
employees
 must have some breaks from their offices so that they can give
time
 to their workouts. In conclusion , the heavy workload and busy schedules of
people
 are two main reasons behind their physical inactivity but the lesser amount of tasks and the possibility of breaks help
people
 to focus on themselves.
Submitted by bandhana322 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • inactive
  • fitness
  • workplace
  • technology-dependent
  • physical activity
  • fast-paced
  • stressful
  • unhealthy
  • eating habits
  • motivation
  • time constraints
What to do next:
Look at other essays: