Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #individuals #want

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Nowadays, technology is increasingly modern, so advertising is

also

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developing more. It looks more beautiful, special and attractive than before.

However

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now, there are many individuals who argue that advertising makes different

people

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no longer unique by controlling us to do the same thing. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

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Firstly

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, today,

people

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don'

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want them to look different from others, they often follow the crowd. When they watch an advertisement about

goods

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, and they see that those

goods

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are sold in large quantities,

then

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they will think that if they don'

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buy it, they will be afraid that everyone will stare at them and say that

this

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good is obsolete. So a large amount of those

goods

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will be sold and become popular.

For example

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, when Nike produces a new model shoe, there are many previous shoes which

people

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say

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are out of fashion, so all

people

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only care and find to buying

this

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new good and most

people

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wear similar shoes.

Secondly

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, now, companies often invite some famous singers or actors to advertise for them and it is one of the reasons why their

goods

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are popular. Because these singers or actors have a large influence so many individuals will feel that those

goods

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are good and reliable,

then

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there are a lot of

people

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who buy them,

however

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sometimes they don'

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need to use them, but they still buy them because their idols advertise for those

goods

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For instance

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, today on TikTok, there are many tiktokers who review foods of a TikTok channel named "

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cung ba Tuyet", so many young individuals want to buy them and they become renowned foods. In conclusion, advertising has a great influence on

people

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, it can make

people

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become similar to others and they want to do the same things, they aren'

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special like before.

Submitted by duongntt.tld on Fri Jan 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences and that ideas logically follow one another to create a cohesive argument.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion should clearly state the writer's view and summary of the argument without repetitive statements.

coherence cohesion

Provide specific examples that are directly linked to the main points to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

Address the task directly and make sure to answer the question fully, covering all aspects of the prompt.

task achievement

Clearly articulate your ideas with a mix of complex and simple sentences to fully express the argument.

task achievement

Use examples that are relevant to the topic and elaborate on them to demonstrate a full understanding of the question.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

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Some people believe that exams are an unappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree?