Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

It is undeniable that

competition

is one of the motivations to increase enthusiasm for learning in

children

. Another belief is that teamwork is pivotal in their environment rather than

competition

between

children

and adults.

This

essay will compare and contrast both opinions, and my opinion, which is in favour of the latter view and will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. On the one hand, the feeling of

competition

children

is extraordinary because they have a dream high to be a winner and successful in the future. In

this

circumstance, becoming a winner,

however

children

ought to study hard and practice respectively so that

children

get what they have wanted.

For instance

, students have won

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gold medals in the English debate contest in England since 2020.

As a result

, students will become the main characters in the school due to

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

achieved some rewards from their championship.

On the other hand

, teamwork and social activities become beneficial for

children

In other words

children

might play, share, and discuss with their neighbourhood comfortably because they have good communication with each other.

For example

, childhood should be enjoyed from an early age. Generally speaking, it does not mean

children

have to become adults in order to be beneficial people,

however

, social and teamwork are better than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competition

. As a sequence,

children

do not become introverted and unsocial. To sum up,

although

tournament

Add an article

the tournament

show examples

is good for

children

as an effort to increase their morale and social awareness rather than competing like adults.

However

, it will depend upon the

children

’s mindset and which view they favour.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Jan 20 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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