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Writing Samples
Band 6

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #phone #development
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There is no doubt that technology has transformed our lives drastically.
such
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 a change can be seen in many fields especially communications and networking,
for example
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, with a click of a button you have information and daily news at your fingertips, yet,
this
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 has made
people
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 more and more reliant on their smartphones and the
internet
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. in
this
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 essay, I will discuss demerits and merits and explain why it has a negative impact on
people
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. on the one hand, some
people
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 argue that the
internet
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 and cell phones made our lives much more convenient. to illustrate,
people
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 can communicate instantly rather than travelling to far places in order to interact with one another.
for example
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, 50 years ago,
people
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 from Egypt had to travel from Cairo to Alexandria just to meet up and conduct their activities, but now with the commencement of 4G and 5G
people
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 can now see each other through a webcam,
thus
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, it's evident that travelling is no longer needed.
on the other hand
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, it's indisputable that the
internet
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 and cell phone have a negative impact on human health. to elaborate,
people
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 spend more and more of their time glued to their phone screens and that could damage their eye retinas and cause early blindness and some cases illness. according to recent discoveries and research publications made at MIT University, it's said that one in 4 adults spent more than 6 hours a day looking at their phone which can lead to early blindness and
further
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 health issues. In my opinion,
people
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 should refrain from using the
internet
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 and smartphones for long hours.
thus
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 reducing their reliance on it and aiming for a healthier lifestyle.
Submitted by donotendupatmcdonalds97 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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