IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#schools #force #children #language
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It is suggested that
children
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 should not be forced to learn a foreign
language
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 by schools. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
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 viewpoint. On the one hand, learning foreign languages have many benefits. It can help
children
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 to communicate with foreigners and know more about their country’s
custom
Fix the agreement mistake
customs
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 and traditions.
In addition
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, knowing a foreign
language
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 can be a priority when they apply for a job.
For example
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, between a person who can speak at least one foreign
language
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 and a person who just can speak
mother
Correct pronoun usage
their mother
his mother
her mother
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 tongue, companies will actually choose the person knowing at least one foreign
language
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. So families and schools should encourage
children
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 to learn a foreign
language
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.
On the other hand
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, schools had better not force
children
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 to learn other countries’
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language
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languages
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.
With
Change preposition
For
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 some
children
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, learning a foreign
language
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 is very boring with them. They feel it
difficult
Add a missing verb
is difficult
show examples
 to learn
this
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 subject. So in the day when they have to learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
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language
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 subject, they might find a way to stay at home and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not go to school that day.
This
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 is not good for their education.
Moreover
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, if he decides to stay
at
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in
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 his hometown all
life
Correct pronoun usage
his life
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, it is quite useless to learn another
language
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. In conclusion, I think learning a foreign
language
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 has many advantages, but
school
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schools
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needn’t force them to study
this
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.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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