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Band 4

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
Education is the foundation of our society. In order to prosper one needs to have solid academic background.
On the other hand
 , it is equally essential to include
curriculum
Correct article usage
a curriculum
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 for extracurricular activities. I disagree that the authorities focus more on educational institutions.
Moreover
 , I feel that both of these are
Correct article usage
the same
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 side of the coin. First of all, I believe that an individual’s
overall
 development depends on both academics and recreational activities There is no denying the fact that education gives wings to our dreams. It opens several channels that would
otherwise
 be impossible to achieve.
On the other hand
 , sports instil us with qualities like leadership,
team work
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teamwork
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 and multitasking.
For example
 , games like football, tennis or basketball
teaches
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teach
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 us discipline,
management
Correct word choice
and management
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, and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 us think
out
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outside
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 of the box.
Thus
 , improving our various skills. Despite
of
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apply
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the above arguments, learning is an indispensable part of our system. In order to go up that ladder, it is
prerequisite
Correct article usage
a prerequisite
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 to excel
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in a few areas of knowledge. Especially during school, students must be well acquainted with subjects like mathematics, science and languages which enhances their cognitive skills, thereby, preparing them for future challenges. I strongly disagree that the government should invest more
on
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in
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 learning institutions than
on
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in
show examples
 leisure and sports. Our future generation relies on how we shape them. There is no substitute
of
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for
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 education, it is our first and foremost right. Yet, I believe that physical fitness should be given equal importance, as the saying goes
that
Correct word choice
apply
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a sound mind resides in a sound body.
Submitted by mahtamoradan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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