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Band 4.5

Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

#people #students #work #travel #education #university
Life experience may
differs
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differ
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for
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from
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 one fellow to another. Meanwhile, some citizens and I believe that tutees should
looking
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look
be looking
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 for any remarkable events, whether it is to work or
holiday
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a holiday
show examples
 before starting university. The essay will elucidate ideas and contentions about
Add an article
the afore-mentioned
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afore-mentioned
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aforementioned
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 statement.
To begin
 with, it is a life-changing way if the students started out to enjoy more about their existence in their pre-adult phase.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the maturity level of each person always scaled from events that happened before.
For instance
, a teenager who decided to take an added job or go on
a travel
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travel
a journey
a trip
show examples
 may view the world from different perspectives compared to her peers that
are not have
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do not have
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a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 bravery to take
a chances
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a chance
chances
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.
Besides
, it will make a good track on their cv and their
state-of-mind
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state of mind
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 to have a broad range of senses about how the world circulates and works.
As
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For
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance, a student who
choose
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chooses
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 to take a side job could earn more and put the work history in his resume. Or for those who go on a backpacker could think serenely and not in a hurry condition as
what
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to what
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 societal standards may
told
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tell
be told
show examples
 them about their plans and strategies regarding
to
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apply
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their future. To sum up, added experience before
college
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the college
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 period may
sounds
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sound
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 strange
for
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to
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 common people, especially for middle-class
family
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families
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 who put
a
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apply
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high hopes on their sons and daughters to get a degree as soon as possible.
However
, I personally agree that it is a wise way to contemplate more and get a better
afterthough
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afterthought
after though
 about what is going on with their
life-decisions
Correct your spelling
life decisions
show examples
, so they can live and go through without any pressure, and particularly know what they want, at least for tomorrow.
Submitted by febriantyhasanah on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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