Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

#people #students #work #travel #education #university

Life experience may

differs

Change the verb form

differ

show examples

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

one fellow to another. Meanwhile, some citizens and I believe that tutees should

looking

Change the verb form

look

be looking

show examples

for any remarkable events, whether it is to work or

holiday

Correct article usage

a holiday

show examples

before starting university. The essay will elucidate ideas and contentions about

Add an article

the afore-mentioned

show examples

afore-mentioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

show examples

statement.

To begin

with, it is a life-changing way if the students started out to enjoy more about their existence in their pre-adult phase.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the maturity level of each person always scaled from events that happened before.

For instance

, a teenager who decided to take an added job or go on

a travel

Remove the article

travel

a journey

a trip

show examples

may view the world from different perspectives compared to her peers that

are not have

Change the verb form

do not have

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

bravery to take

a chances

Correct the article-noun agreement

a chance

chances

show examples

Besides

, it will make a good track on their cv and their

state-of-mind

Correct your spelling

state of mind

show examples

to have a broad range of senses about how the world circulates and works.

Change preposition

For

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance, a student who

choose

Change the verb form

chooses

show examples

to take a side job could earn more and put the work history in his resume. Or for those who go on a backpacker could think serenely and not in a hurry condition as

what

Change preposition

to what

show examples

societal standards may

told

Change the verb form

tell

be told

show examples

them about their plans and strategies regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

their future. To sum up, added experience before

college

Correct article usage

the college

show examples

period may

sounds

Change the verb form

sound

show examples

strange

for

Change preposition

show examples

common people, especially for middle-class

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

who put

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

high hopes on their sons and daughters to get a degree as soon as possible.

However

, I personally agree that it is a wise way to contemplate more and get a better

afterthough

Correct your spelling

afterthought

after though

about what is going on with their

life-decisions

Correct your spelling

life decisions

show examples

, so they can live and go through without any pressure, and particularly know what they want, at least for tomorrow.

Submitted by febriantyhasanah on Sat Jan 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Some people argue that the younger generation should consider successful sportsmen as their idols, while others discuss that their behavior which is applyed both on and off the field is unhealthy and could have a negative impact. Although there are some useful features that make the athletes worthwhile to follow, they have so unpleasant behaviours that they never make a proper choice for young people to build their destiny upon that.
6.5
band
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some people believe that parents of children who attend private schools should not need to contribute to state schools through taxes. Personally,I completely disagree with this view.
4
band
Some people think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, as all writing can be stored electronically. Others believe that printed books still play an important role in our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
As digital technology can save all writing, people have different views about whether printed books are not necessary. Although this technological advancement and convenience are undeniably significant, I firmly believe that printed books will continue to play a crucial role in our lives.
4.5
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make their decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In general, people have different outlook on how they would raise their children. Some consider that encouraging youngster to achieve their own wishes may lead to selfishness, while others think that it is vital for them to start making their own personal decisions. While I acknowledge that supporting minors to follow their own wishes may lead to greediness, I would argue that helping children build up their confidence with the choices they make would help build up their confidence in the future.
4.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn about this distinction To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
It is essential for children to learn about right and wrong things. Because at an early age, they do not have experience to differentiate it. So it is necessary to teach the distinction by using punishments. This essay agree with this statement because, children lack decision making ability and hormonal imbalance.

Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, as all writing can be stored electronically. Others believe that printed books still play an important role in our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.