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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

More and more people want to buy famous brand of clothes and cars. What are the reasons? Do you think a positive or negative development?

#people #brand #clothes #cars #development
lifestyle
 make many
people
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 desire for buying something
such
 as
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
show examples
clothes
 and sports car.
Firstly
, many
people
 have different
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
show examples
for instance
 simple and minimalist life so there will manage
money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 buying something
such
 as buying
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 and new
clothes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because recently many
product
Change to a plural noun
products
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 social media
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 Instagram, Facebook and Twitter there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
 buying but a
person
simple
Replace the word
simply
show examples
 will not interesting because they need what they want to buy.
Secondly
, wasteful
people
 will buy something if they want, because they would not think about
money
 so they could buy
cars
, new
clothes
 and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
.
furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rich
person
 can buy luxury goods more than
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
person
such
new
Change preposition
as new
show examples
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 and
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 so life reality
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 many
people
 will buy something if they have
money
 so it depends on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
person
 what want to buy. In conclusion, Recently,
lifestyle
 will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 many
people
 buying something but it depends on the
setuation
Correct your spelling
situation
 if they have
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money
 they could
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 new brands and new
cars
, but if they did not have
money
 where they will simple
lifestyle
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 they will not
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
cars
 and new
clothes
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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