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Band 6.5

In many cities many people are living alone What are the reason for it? Is this a positive or a negative?

#cities #people #reason
In
this
 modern era,
preference
Correct article usage
the preference
show examples
 of individuals is altering
such
 as many pupils believe that living alone is great rather than living with family. In my, opinion the position of being alone appears to be more rational. In
this
, essay we will
further
 elaborate on the negative effects of
this
 trend and
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. To commence with, the most preponderant fact is the population is fascinated by movies and western culture. Most of the fiction
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 being alone as an adequate way of life.
Although
, there are myriads of drawbacks which will
further
 explain
firstly
, being alone is increasing mental illness by leaps and bounds.
Secondly
, family plays a vital role in our life and bestows us strength and peace.
Thirdly
, parents provided financial stability as well as superior guidance.
Moreover
, a survey conducted by the prestigious university Oxford in London revealed that pupils who live with family are feeling more jubilant rather than those who don't.
Similarly
, depression and anxiety are rising owing to being alone.
In addition
, poor countries
Add the comma(s)
, in other words,
show examples
in other words
 India Pakistan and Nepal have no resources to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 fundamental demands and affluent communities are living alone.
On the other hand
, the main reason for being alone is that maybe the population believe that they losing their freedom. Another pivotal aspect is many pupils are introverted Nowadays and fells paranoid to share feelings. Wealth is the main reason because in western countries
for instance
 America, France, and Germany individuals have countless wealth and they spend in numerous ways. To sum up, according to the argument aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion, that the drawback of being alone is too dire.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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