Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#argue #music #individuals #stress #anxiety

Music

is a flexible tool that makes us company

while

going through different situations.

That is

the reason why some

people

think that

music

is useful to certain individuals in order to manage their stress and anxiety. Even though is not an absolute remedy for different mental problems, I strongly agree with

this

idea. Nowadays

people

search for new alternatives to manage their emotions. One of them is

music

and it is proven that

music

helps you to deal with different situations.

For example

, when you feel overwhelmed or stressed you can listen to some classical

music

like Mozart or Bach, some experts even recommend listening to these musicians whenever you are studying for an important exam.

Music

is a tool that helps you feel more calm and relaxed.

On the other hand

music

can improve your lifestyle in many ways.

People

who suffer from anxiety are frequently drowned in worrying thoughts and

music

can help them distract themselves.

For instance

, listening to

music

while

taking a shower is good because you can sing and dance and that helps you to not feel sad or worried, the same happens

while

doing exercise it helps you to feel motivated and with energy. There are many songs like "I'm Walking on Sunshine" that have been scientifically demonstrated to increase your happiness.

Music

is a tool that can make a beneficial impact on your life. Even though

music

can have a good influence on

people

's lives, it is always important that

people

who suffer from mental

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

such

as anxiety and stress take care of their mental health and go with a therapist.

Music

can be helpful but it is not the final solution.

Submitted by dannie.sanval on Fri Oct 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured, it would be beneficial if you added some clear transition words or phrases to better demonstrate the progression of your thoughts and ideas. This could include terms like 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'more importantly'. This will increase your essay's readability and the clarity of your argument.

task achievement

You have provided a clear response to the task and well-explained examples supporting your perspective. However, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on your arguments by providing detailed analysis of how specifically music can help in managing stress and anxiety.

lexical resource

Your lexical resource is fairly good, yet it could be broadened a bit more. Add more variety to your words and phrases, avoid too much repetition of certain words ('music' in this case). Explore synonyms, employ antonyms to counter-argue, or use idiomatic phrases for better results.

grammatical range accuracy

Your grammar is generally good, but there are a few mistakes like missing articles ('an' before important exam, 'the' before final solution), or missing verb conjugation ('music is a flexible tool that makes us company' should be 'music is a flexible tool that keeps us company'). Carefully proofread your essay to rectify such minor errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects.

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people to prevent illness and disease

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.