IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that education and heath care should be the responsibility of the goverment but other thinks that it is the responsibility of the individuals themseves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #heath #care #responsibility #goverment #individuals #themseves
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education and health sectors are paramount in
people
's lives.
However
, some
people
 concur that the government's task is to provide free service to humankind, while few folks reject
this
 notion. From a personal perspective, it varies depending on the country's financial status. Both views will be discussed and
thus
 lead to a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence that's obtainable to substantiated reasons. The top-notch concrete is that environmental issue is a big threat to the entire world.
Therefore
, The Government should provide funds to scientific research fields to find a feasible solution rather than other health and education sectors.
In addition
, many individuals are suffering from a lack of food and shelter, especially in developing countries and
thus
, governments prioritize those issues . In short, the inducement of the falls for its bright side is self-evident. What's known as half full for some may appear half empty to others. So the public, in general, distinguishes that
people
 impose a tax to fulfil the basic necessity. Another
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prime reason is many pupils are involved in criminal activities
such
 as robbery, and drug sellers to pay academic fees.
For instance
, in India, 55% of
people
 were illiterate and unhealthy before the spread of the importance of knowledge and fitness;
however
, after these
people
 became aware of their academic level and the state of their bodies. In recapitulation, I reiterate that both views have their own merits.
However
, it's vary depends on the economic strength.
For instance
, poor countries should not able to provide free services due to enormous problems in their nation.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: