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Band 5.5

It would be a better place if women own the leadership do you agree or disagree with statement

#place #women #leadership
In today's perpetually transforming era, due to
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 empowerment , many
women
 have achieved great success in their life .As a
consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
show examples
, it is
opeined
Correct your spelling
opened
opined
 that if
women
 own the
leadership
 , it would be a great place. I disagree with the above notion and I have given my reasons along with suitable justifications. To commence with the disagreement side ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
 and foremost , most
women
 have
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 household work. To be elaborate ,
women
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
 many responsibilities
such
 as sending
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to school , preparing lunch
box
Fix the agreement mistake
boxes
show examples
 for
Correct pronoun usage
their husband
show examples
husband
Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
show examples
 and
household
Add a missing verb
doing household
show examples
 work.
As a result
 , sometimes they cannot give proper attention as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leaders
Correct the article-noun agreement
leader
show examples
 compared to men .Apart from that if
women
 own the
leadership
 , it would affect
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 personal life and professional life Yet another reason is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of confidence.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
women
 have
low
Add an article
the low
show examples
 ability of thinking
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
as they are sensitive and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 tolerance while as a
leadership
Replace the word
leader
show examples
 one should have
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
such
 as good decision making communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 grade ability of thinking and
what not
Correct your spelling
whatnot
show examples
.
Although
women
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
this
 quality , due to
sensitive
Correct pronoun usage
their sensitive
show examples
 nature
women
 cannot take
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 during emergency crises and it would have
determined
Correct article usage
a determined
show examples
 effect on
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 To commence with agreement side
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 safety is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 concern .Nowadays
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of
women
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 from fear
such
 as rap and acid
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
 two
name
Change to a plural noun
names
show examples
 but
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two .If
women
 will
leader
Replace the word
lead
show examples
 the country it would be beneficial for other
women
 as
women
 can easily understand the other woman .
As a result
 by means of
leadership
 ,
women
 will be safe in the upcoming year To conclude ,
women
 have
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 household work and she has lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
confidence so sometimes
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
leadership
 would be beneficial compared to
women
 .
On the other hand
 , if
women
 play
Add an article
a role
the role
show examples
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leaders ship the rate of
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
cime
Correct your spelling
crime
time
 will decrease.
Submitted by vaisuprajapati1997 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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