IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

: School should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#school #force #children #language
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As foreign
language
Use synonyms
 has grown to be dominant worldwide nowadays, many
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
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 have started to list foreign
language
Use synonyms
 as a compulsory subject.
Although
Linking Words
 foreign
language
Use synonyms
 indeed provides benefits,
children
Use synonyms
 shouldn’t be compelled to learn
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. It is undeniable that foreign
language
Use synonyms
 has certain uses for
students
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it allows
students
Use synonyms
 to know more about the world outside their countries. When learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
,
children
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 get a chance to know more about
how
Correct word choice
what
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 the other countries are like, about their cultures through the form of the
language
Use synonyms
 they speak.
Secondly
Linking Words
, foreign
language
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diverses
Correct your spelling
diverse
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 options about their future. Many companies these days require their employees to have the ability to speak at least one more
language
Use synonyms
 apart from their mother
language
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. By studying a foreign
language
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 can expand their career path in the future as employers are willing to accept them so long as they have some linguistic qualifications. Advantageous as
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 is,
Add an article
the school
a school
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should not force
children
Use synonyms
 to study it for numerous reasons.
For example
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 are less likely to be interested in something
that is
Linking Words
 forced upon them,
therefore
Linking Words
 unable to do that thing effectively. The same goes for foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. If
students
Use synonyms
 are compelled to learn foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
, they will probably be discouraged from learning them, resulting in ineffective learning.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another compulsory subject means
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
 burden on their shoulders. Parents typically have high expectations for their
children
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, and with pressures from foreign
language
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 as a compulsory subject added, their expectations grow larger. Some
students
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 can’t carry all those
weight
Change the determiner
weights
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, so they might end up with mental illnesses.
In addition
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 does benefit
students
Use synonyms
, I believe that it shouldn’t be compulsory to learn it.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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