Some childeren spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, a vast number of
children
spend a considerable amount of
time
on their
smartphones
. In my opinion,
this
matter is big deal. Since
children
are mentally weak,
thus
they are more likely to lose their identity. I am
also
convinced that using too much technology
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in
children
can have many negative
effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their life. It is my view that
children
can miss
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of new experiences that lead to
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
miss
Wrong verb form
missing
show examples
learning many new
skils
Correct your spelling
skills
show examples
such
as music and art ,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
.
Moreover
, they are more
likekly
Correct your spelling
likely
to find difficult to
connection
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connect
show examples
with
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
children
in
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
world
because they have spent
Correct article usage
a gread
show examples
gread
Correct your spelling
great
deal of their
time
in a
virual
Correct your spelling
virtual
world
.
Thus
, they can lose their real identity. In
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
world
, they are vulnerable.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, it is
reallly
Correct your spelling
really
important to control
their
Change the word
the
show examples
time
how
spend
Add the particle
to spend
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
smartphones
. I
further
believe that using many hours of
smartphones
in
children
can have numerous
necative
Correct your spelling
negative
effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
and mind.
For instance
, they become too lazy and shy. They find it difficult to leave their
smartphones
.
Thus
,
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
of technology and
smartphones
have many
necative
Correct your spelling
negative
effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
. They miss lots of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
such
as
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
with others
children
and their childhood. In conclusion,
children
are
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
part of our
world
.So, we should
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
carefully about
their
Change the word
the
show examples
time
how
spend
Add the particle
to spend
show examples
on
smartphones
because they are more
vulnreable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
.And we know
devoloping
Correct your spelling
developing
of technology
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
many
necative
Correct your spelling
negative
effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
.
Thus
, people should control their
children
in using
smartphones
.
Submitted by melika.verdi on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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