There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that money is the main

reason

that motivates a person to stay working for the same company. I disagree with

this

opinion, and I think that

job

security and better career growth prospects are the main reasons for an individual to work for the same company for a longer duration. It is evident from many surveys that

job

security is the main concern for an

employee

in the rapidly changing world. Every

employee

would like to feel secure in their

job

For example

, if an

employee

is not working with the same

team

for a longer period,

then

he will not be able to become the core member of that working

team

. If you are not one of the main members of a project

team

then

you will be always considered a supporting member and you can be easily removed from the

team

for any

reason

and end up losing your

job

Therefore

, a person prefers to stay with the same organisation for many years. The other potential

reason

for staff to work in the same organisation is better career growth.

For example

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

you have noticed that major companies like TATA, HSBC, etc, would like to consider only their employees for important positions like CEO, CFO, MD, etc. These companies won't prefer to hire outsiders for these key designations.

Therefore

, if an

employee

stays with the same company for a considerable duration,

then

he has a higher chance of reaching these top positions. As I explained above, there are many reasons that can motivate a person to work for the same organisation and I believe money is not the main

reason

Submitted by msrinivas7866 on Sat Aug 03 2024

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task achievement

While the essay is clear and mostly comprehensive, it could be strengthened by providing further relevant specific examples. For instance, instead of briefly mentioning companies like TATA and HSBC, expanding on actual cases or statistics could make the argument more compelling.

task achievement

A more nuanced approach to contrasting different motivations (like money vs. job security/career growth) could enhance the depth of the analysis.

coherence cohesion

While the logical structure of the essay is strong, using transition words more consistently could improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas on why job security and career growth are influential factors for staying at the same company.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear stance and summarizing the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Each main point is supported adequately, making the arguments more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?