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Writing Samples
Band 4

n some countries, parents expect their children to spend long time studying both in and after school and have less free time. What are the positive and negative effects on children and society they live in

#n #countries #parents #children #time #school #effects #society
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It is argued in some nations that
children
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 should spend more
time
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in
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apply
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expanding their
knowledge
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instead
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 of other activities. In my opinion,
this
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 trend has a negative effect on
children
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 ,and the drawbacks surpass the benefits. On the one hand, there is the main reason why parents want their
children
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 to learn both in and after
school
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 lessons. Because of having better
the
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apply
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cognitive ability,
children
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 are able to reach education
knowledge
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 easily and level up their scores. When
children
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 study well, they can easier to broaden their horizontal in other fields of
knowledge
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.
This
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 lead to
children
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 can achieve higher prizes in
school
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,
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apply
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 and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 their
parents’
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parents
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pround
Correct your spelling
proud
around
.
On the other hand
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,
although
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this
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 trend has its own benefits, it has worse impacts on juniors. They often spend half a day
time
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 to join
school
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 classes, and after
school
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time
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,
children
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 should participate in outdoor activities to develop in other aspects. If parents still want their
children
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 to continue the process of gaining
knowledge
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 after
school
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,
this
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 lead to
children
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 not
able
Add a missing verb
being able
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 to have
a
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apply
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holistic development. They need to play sports to improve their mental health
,
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apply
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 and join other social activities to increase their visibility of social.
Moreover
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, lack of free
time
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 can transfer
children
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 to isolate to the social. It is an acute drawback in the future of
children
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 because they are difficult to get on well with everyone. In conclusion,
although
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 spending both
in
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during
show examples
 and after lesson
time
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 in
school
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 assist
children
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 to learn faster, it
also
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 affects their health and their. From my point of view, I
belived
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believed
believe
 that
children
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 need the fully grown by gaining
knowledge
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 parallel with playing sports.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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