IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. discuss the causes of rising unemployment among young adults and suggest any solutions.

#school #leavers #jobs #unemployment #adults
The importance of not being enough suitable to find jobs are school leavers, which was always debatable, has become more controversial. While concerns about the issue are on the rise, persuasive arguments in favour of the subject matter
also
 have momentum. Technological skills shortages for career and study backgrounds are the two justifications that will be emphasized in
this
 essay to reach a rational conclusion. At the outset, there are numerous reasons why the notional that finding a career after school has some aspects, but the alarming one lies in the fact that the technological knowledge gap.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the bureau of statistics reveals that the negative impact of
this
 problem is that so many students cannot afford to pay the universities fee is harsh and should never be underestimated and ignored. For
this
 reason, the harmful effects of future careers should not be overlooked.
Nevertheless
, some people believe that many adults facing difficulty to find a job after being done with studies can be addressed with some positive facets;
however
, the most predominant one stems from the fact that studies with a good subject and work experience, which is beneficial and necessary. As an illustration, the findings of some studies prove that more than 50% of the participants were in favour of the benefits showered by the government introducing so many free valuable subjects in school and giving opportunities to work field.
Therefore
, the importance of the government play role in students' careers is undeniable. From what has been discussed above, it can be concluded that despite having some drawbacks, the benefits of technological ability and good backgrounds in subject or work experience should not be overlooked.
Submitted by atikarman199 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: