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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Universities should accept equal members of male and female in every subject.Do you agree or disagree ?

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As known throughout history,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 were never considered equals.
Female
Add an article
The female
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 population have fought many battles to get
women
Use synonyms
 the chance that they deserved and an opportunity to be treated as a human. In my opinion, admissions
in
Change preposition
to
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 universities and colleges shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be determined by gender
instead
Linking Words
 it should solely be based on the
candidates
Change to a genitive case
candidate's
candidates'
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 scores and achievements.
Firstly
Linking Words
, equality doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 mean being fair to everyone, it means giving
equals
Replace the word
equal
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 chances and challenges to all.
Moreover
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, throughout life
men
Use synonyms
 have a better chance of getting through schools and colleges with better grades as families put less burden
of
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society on them. Whereas
women
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 have to deal with several family and society-related problems.
For instance
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, 80%
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
of women
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 in the teaching industry are awarded
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 pay rates as compared to
men
Use synonyms
 with the same levels of experience and studies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, putting the seats reserved under the name of gender is unfair to boys who had to struggle immensely to pass school.
For example
Linking Words
, some fields are more popular among
men
Use synonyms
 as compared to
women
Use synonyms
, so when we reserve seats we are taking away an opportunity from someone.
Hence
Linking Words
, colleges and universities shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be biased with the genders and look at the candidates, will to perform. In conclusion, studies and knowledge should be accessible to all and we shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be binding it intact in the name of gender reservations. In my opinion, when an opportunity present itself everyone should be able to at the least try to make a name for themselves.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender balance
  • diversity
  • real-world workforce
  • quota system
  • merit
  • aptitude
  • university admissions
  • gender disparities
  • underrepresented genders
  • institutional policies
  • gender stereotypes
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • logistical issues
  • innovation
  • teamwork
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