IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy through sporting events such as Olympics or World Cup. Others think that there are more better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state you opinion.

#adults #exercise #think #people #events #olympics #world #cup
Some
people
 say that the Olympics or World Cup can offer an opportunity according to
exercise
people
's bodies.
However
, it is no wonder that another way is
also
 existing that gives the opportunity to move their body.
Therefore
this
 essay aims to elaborate on both sides' opinions about the aforementioned and I describe my opinion.
To begin
 with, it can affect for
people
 to promote exercising, according to the increasing of TV programs, especially sports,
such
 as the Olympics or the World Cup.
That is
 why it is possible that
people
 want to play sports like an athlete.
For example
, after Tokyo Olympics, the population of skateboarding was quite rising compared to the past until it did not take place.
On the other hand
, there is a regime that more promotes the populace to
exercise
 than watch TV. These days, our society has a point system that
people
 can get some points when they moved their bodies. To illustrate, the application of Coke On.
This
 system is that if
people
 walk and accomplished their own target of walking steps, they can save points, and after, they can get some drinks
instead
 of saved points. It's useful to
people
's motivation about
exercise
. From my perspective, I recommend for a company incorporate accustom to
exercise
 their employees.
This
 is because it is the most effective for adults to keep their health with
exercise
.
That is
 why most
people
 spend their time at their work. In the fact, some companies are existing that promote their employees to
exercise
.
This
 company's system is
also
 as same as Coke On. In conclusion, I reiterate that TV broadcasting can affect the public to
exercise
.
However
, another way is existing to offer more
exercise
such
 as using point systems.
In addition
, in my point of view that if companies incorporate some regime,
people
 can get more health.
Submitted by euler0279 on

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