IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nuclear technology not only offers a lot of advantages but also threatens the world with its danger. The use of this technology should be discouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that as nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 threatens the peace of the world, it should be restricted. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint is not entirely convincing as nuclear development can offer substantial advantages to the community.
While
Linking Words
 nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 poses risks, its advantages make it indispensable for modern society. Admittedly, nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 may have negative effects, threatening the world with its danger.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 could be abused and misused by
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in a war,
technology
Use synonyms
 could be used to create newly developed weapons, which could seriously threaten human beings.
Secondly
Linking Words
, nuclear experiments could cause unexpected results without proper regulation.
In other words
Linking Words
, nuclear innovation could unintentionally lead to counterproductive consequences, as all factors could not be totally considered and calculated by scientists. In
this
Linking Words
 context, it is understandable why some
people
Use synonyms
 insist the use of the
technology
Use synonyms
 should be discouraged.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, nuclear development provides significant benefits for society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 can be used as sustainable
power
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, human beings are currently facing a lack of natural resources.
However
Linking Words
, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 can be replaced with other resources
such
Linking Words
 as coal and oil.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 can contribute to the higher efficiency of
energy
Use synonyms
, helping
people
Use synonyms
 save money by using nuclear
power
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 plants are established in the local community,
people
Use synonyms
 in the area can enjoy cheaper
energy
Use synonyms
 than other communities.
Thus
Linking Words
, nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 can play a vital role in ensuring resource abundance and in promoting the well-being of
people
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 respect, the use of nuclear innovation should be encouraged. In conclusion, nuclear development can have positive effects on society. As previously discussed, it can offer resource security and a high standard of living. Even though nuclear
technology
Use synonyms
 could be misused in some cases, proper supervision and sophisticated care could lower the danger of it.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should keep encouraging the progress of nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and offers a complete response. However, to achieve a higher score, consider providing a more balanced view by incorporating counter-arguments or discussing more potential risks of nuclear technology in detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied transition words and phrases to better link your ideas together. Additionally, make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea for clarity.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the arguments, which strengthens your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the main points effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: