IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

a friend has written to you asking for advice abour a problem at work. you have had a similar problem in the past. Tell your friend you understand the problem Explain what happened to you in the past Suggest possible solutions to the problem

#friend #advice #abour #work
Dear Abed, I hope you are doing well, thank you for reaching out to me for
an advice
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
show examples
.
Firstly
, let me tell you that I understand how frustrated you are that you didn’t get the promotion that you’ve always worked hard for,
although
 you are a perfect fit for it, as I was in your shoes two years ago. In 2019, I took an assignment in marketing for 3 years, I’ve worked so hard to learn everything about it , and I was keen to develop the skills needed in order to excel in
this
 assignment, I took an award for my dedication, commitment
also
 for the extraordinary efforts to make the marketing project succeed. When they
finally
 opened a vacancy for a marketing manager it was only for external candidates only!. I still remember how demotivated I was. I ‘d like to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 you to talk to the human recourses manager in your company, asking them to open the vacancy internally
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and explain how
this
 is not only demotivating for you, but
also
 it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
 loyalty towards the company.
Goodluck
Correct your spelling
Good luck
show examples
 and write back soon. Your friend, Tala
Submitted by tala_otoum on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: