IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meal. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

#pace #life #people #food #advantage
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
people
 increasingly have fast
food
 as their main meal in terms of modern life advancing so fast. in my view
this
 lifestyle has more drawbacks than benefits. some argue that having fast
food
 in
this
 technology-driven work can let us save a sizable amount of
time
 to spend on other precious purposes and become more successful
people
. to illustrate it more, as everything is advancing so fast, we should keep up with the pace of modern life and technology to be able to handle multi-project since sometimes juggling work and family responsibilities would become so tough.
therefore
, having fast
food
 can let them perform other instructive activities in the
time
 duration that consume cooked
food
.
however
, others assume that eating junk
food
 can take a heavy toll on their health. to put it simply, many diseases are caused by having
this
 invaluable meal like heart stroke, osteoporosis, and other modern ills because
this
 type of
food
 has lack vitamin and nutrient so a shortage of calcium intake cause osteoporosis as our bones consistently remodel depending on nutrient availability so we fail to have density bones.
therefore
, fast
food
 is not a great selection to get more
time
 to tackle our obligations in
this
 new speed of life. I do believe that
obesity
 stems from having
this
 type of
food
 as they are full of fat in a result they boost the level of lipoprotein- a bad form of cholesterol- and calories in our bodies so we often consider ourselves obese. it is obvious that
obesity
 can have negative effects on workforce performance, particularly in physical occupations.
therefore
obesity
 can be a significant barrier in the way of
people
 who want to hire in active vocations. to sum up, in today's work everything is gathered pace,
however
, having futile nutrition can permit saving
time
 for other functions, may have deleterious implications on
people
's health and cause
obesity
 which can restrict workers.
Submitted by ehsansoltanica on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: