IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Loneliness is an increasing problem in many societies,especially among elderly. Why is this? How might it be remediated.

#loneliness #societies #remediated
In
this
 modern era, many
people
 including old
people
 are suffering from
Add an article
the
show examples
loneliness
 which leads to mental stress, depression and anxiety. Before reaching a final conclusion,
this
 essay is going to outline the causes and solutions to
this
 problem of
loneliness
. To pinpoint the paramount causation is
loneliness
 behind technology, most
people
 are overusing mobile phones, and computers to play games, watch movies, and interact with strangers which disables
people
 from face-to-face interaction under the same roof.
For instance
, in
this
 generation
people
, spending spare
time
 in their room
instead
 with family
people
. As a consequence, elderly
people
 are feeling lonely.
Furthermore
,
people
 are running busy schedules, working in their spare
time
 on weekends due to office commitments.
As a result
, young children can't able to get quality
time
 with their parents to share the routine of the day.
Thus
, the above-mentioned reasons are determined by why many
people
 are feeling lonely. Steps to deal with these problems are many but the most significant one are not complicated but practical and accessible. Primarily, individuals need to allocate some
time
 in their daily routine to spend
time
 with families.
In addition
 to that, participating in some sports events or going for short-term vacations on weekends aids to increase bonds between families and friends.
Thus
, if the above-stated reasons are taken appropriately, none of the
people
 gets into the
loneliness
 stages. To sum up, I reiterate that action can speak louder than words, these causes need action and attention to protect
people
 from anxiety and depression. There is a lot of doctor consultancy are available that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
 to get rid of
loneliness
.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: