IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Loneliness is an increasing problem in many societies,especially among elderly. Why is this? How might it be remediated.

#loneliness #societies #remediated
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, many
people
Use synonyms
 including old
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from
Add an article
the
show examples
loneliness
Use synonyms
 which leads to mental stress, depression and anxiety. Before reaching a final conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay is going to outline the causes and solutions to
this
Linking Words
 problem of
loneliness
Use synonyms
. To pinpoint the paramount causation is
loneliness
Use synonyms
 behind technology, most
people
Use synonyms
 are overusing mobile phones, and computers to play games, watch movies, and interact with strangers which disables
people
Use synonyms
 from face-to-face interaction under the same roof.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 generation
people
Use synonyms
, spending spare
time
Use synonyms
 in their room
instead
Linking Words
 with family
people
Use synonyms
. As a consequence, elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are feeling lonely.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are running busy schedules, working in their spare
time
Use synonyms
 on weekends due to office commitments.
As a result
Linking Words
, young children can't able to get quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their parents to share the routine of the day.
Thus
Linking Words
, the above-mentioned reasons are determined by why many
people
Use synonyms
 are feeling lonely. Steps to deal with these problems are many but the most significant one are not complicated but practical and accessible. Primarily, individuals need to allocate some
time
Use synonyms
 in their daily routine to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with families.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, participating in some sports events or going for short-term vacations on weekends aids to increase bonds between families and friends.
Thus
Linking Words
, if the above-stated reasons are taken appropriately, none of the
people
Use synonyms
 gets into the
loneliness
Use synonyms
 stages. To sum up, I reiterate that action can speak louder than words, these causes need action and attention to protect
people
Use synonyms
 from anxiety and depression. There is a lot of doctor consultancy are available that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to get rid of
loneliness
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: