IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Government spend millions of dollars each year on theri space programs. Some people argue that money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree ?

#government #millions #dollars #year #theri #space #programs #people #money #standards #earth
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many countries spend an enormous amount of cash on space exploration and believe that it is necessary for humans. Some others claim that it is better to invest money in urgent problems. I completely agree with the latter view because the money would be better spent on
health
Use synonyms
 and poverty, and
also
Linking Words
 it can broadcast wrong news among society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 are facing up to a variety of serious issues, including
health
Use synonyms
 issues, pollution, poverty, literate and so on. If the government spends funding on ration for society
instead
Linking Words
 of using it for investigating the galaxy, they can set up many projects to address these problems.
For example
Linking Words
, developing public
health
Use synonyms
 centres in deprived areas, recycling, processing waste, planting and protecting the environment. Every year, many
people
Use synonyms
 passed away because of the lack of access to hospitals or
health
Use synonyms
 centres.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the authorities can decrease the mortality rate in these areas by constructing hospitals or
instead
Linking Words
 of sending scientists to other planets like Mars to collect information, they can be sent to some countries like Africa to research fatal diseases.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 cannot provide for their basic needs like food or shelter, so the government can run many charitable activities to provide for their needs or bring new job opportunities to combat poverty.
Secondly
Linking Words
, space explorations can lead to the broadcast of much wrong news.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the long-term survival of the human race depends on
people
Use synonyms
 being able to move off planet Earth, which causes fear among society, and they cannot live their daily lives, and it may even cause depression because they may think that one day the earth will be destroyed, and only wealthy community can travel to other planets. To conclude, I agree with the statement saying that it is better that the government invest money in necessary issues
instead
Linking Words
 of space exploration.
That is
Linking Words
 because not only it can contribute to addressing many basic problems like
health
Use synonyms
 and shortage of food , but
also
Linking Words
 can prevent fear among community
Submitted by ha.mahsa73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: