Question:more students study abroad to learn new things today do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? is it positive or negative? agree or disagree to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Overseas education is much popular among students ,
while
some people think it is a negative trend,
however
, I argue it is positive because
this
can help them develop their future careers and form a new personality. On the one hand, Studying abroad might be beneficial for their careers in the long run. Because they will be exposed to advanced teaching methods and syllabi that help them be equipped not only with different knowledge but
also
qualifications and new technologies, giving them hope to secure a decent job and get ahead in life.
by contrast
, their peers might be still common employees who suffer a lot to even secure a job.
For example
, most top managers in popular companies like Google or Alibaba
are holding
Wrong verb form
hold
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an
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
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degree from good universities, which means studying abroad is promising to them.
On the other hand
, it is believed that studying abroad might be an unbearable burden to parents:
for
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because of
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the many expenses including tuition fees and living costs that parents have to undertake during the entire year of study.
Nonetheless
, I still believe
this
is a short-sighted view because the money spent will be beneficial to their prospective, so it is no less than an investment.
Moreover
, they can form a new open-minded personality, by studying abroad through communicating with local people and learning a new culture.
For instance
, they will be exposed to different types of approaches like language learning and visiting some historic places that might help them to build up their new personality. In conclusion,
although
studying abroad is more expensive compared to getting an education in their homeland, it is believed to be beneficial for their forthcoming career and character development.
Therefore
, our society should offer scholarships and more exchange programs in universities to help students
further
their education
Submitted by jinyuming896 on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the given topic and presents a well-structured argument. The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad and provides a clear opinion on the matter. However, there is a need for more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages, and the inclusion of counterarguments to support the opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively introducing the topic and summarizing the main points. The essay also uses cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas within and between paragraphs. However, there is a need for better organization of supporting details to enhance coherence and cohesion.
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