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Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers are used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and give your own opinion.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
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In fact, modern life and certainly learning processes become crowded with computers more than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent decades.
That is
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 why people had been divided
for
Change preposition
into
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 two parts:
first
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 supporting
a new progressive approaches
Correct the article-noun agreement
new progressive approaches
a new progressive approach
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in
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to
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 studying,
others
Correct word choice
and others
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 argue that there are negative influences of computerizing.
Although
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 I am in
to
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apply
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a
first
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 community, both views will be discussed in the essay. On the one
hand
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,hand
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 the speed
exchanging
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of exchanging
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 information contributes to
dramatic
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the dramatic
a dramatic
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 rise of free
time
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 because now students do not need to write and overwrite.
As a result
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, more knowledge can be got
in
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at
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 the same
time
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in
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as in
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 the past.
Consequently
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, it takes a place to be
a
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apply
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substantially grow
of
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in
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intensity
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the intensity
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 of education and
in addition
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 more
time
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 to self-grow in different directions
beside of
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besides
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 learning at
course
Add an article
the course
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.
On the other hand
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, computers provide a new way to prepare and presentation of information in form of pictures or clips
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 Decreasing
of
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in
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reading
Correct article usage
the reading
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 ability of students because of easier of taking
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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 from media libraries. It leads to falling speed reading in majors which are mandatory in reading
text books
Correct your spelling
textbooks
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. As a consequence,
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
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 to take a high mark on the exam
on
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in
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such
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 discipline is
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
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 fall. It was scientifically evidenced by
resent
Correct your spelling
recent
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 research of Chelyabinsk University that pupils who had computerized classes at school had a lower assessment on the exams of national language opposite to
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 who had not
computer
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have computer
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 classes approximately
in
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apply
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10% in each year of the research. In
conclusion
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,conclusion
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although
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 there are unquestionable cons in worst reading I believe that profits in much possibilities to mental rise by shorting
time
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 in getting knowledge are more substation for future.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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