In many countries, it is common for people to consume fast food. However, some people believe that fast food has too much influence on our lifestyle and die. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, fast
food
restaurants are seemingly increasing day by day. A group of individuals adhere to the view that consuming fast
food
leads to urgent health issues. I partially agree with
this
viewpoint and I will elaborate my arguments in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,
It is clear that
junk
food
is more available and inexpensive than before, and for these reasons, consumption of these products is widespread.
Firstly
, eating a lot of fast
food
has led to crucial health issues
such
as diabetes and obesity which are causing deaths. The Yeni Gun newspaper shows that each year more than a thousand people die
due to
diabetes in Baku.
Furthermore
, fatty meals not only cause an unhealthy body but
also
some insecurities because of being overweight. The latest statistics show that some people commit suicide because they think that they are not as fit as others.
On the other hand
, despite the negative impacts, there are several advantages of fast
food
.
For example
, it can be time-saving for some consumers with hectic schedules , because
this
type of meal is cooked in a short time.
Additionally
, it is a great chance to try distinctive dishes from different regions because packaged goods
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
cheap and convenient for everyone.
For instance
, there are 3 Italian and 2 Chinese restaurants in Sumgayit and citizens may taste delicious meals. In conclusion,
although
I agree that fast
food
may cause health risks, l
also
hold a view that it gives people a chance to experience tasty meals .
Submitted by nezerli.x12 on

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task achievement
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, the body paragraphs could benefit from more detailed and varied supporting ideas and examples to further strengthen your arguments. Try to add more statistics, personal anecdotes, or references to studies to give more depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas flow relatively well, but there are a few abrupt transitions. For instance, transitioning between the disadvantages and advantages of fast food can be handled more effectively with better linking phrases. Consider using more cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' 'On the contrary,' etc., to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay’s introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your main arguments. This provides a strong basis for your overall essay structure.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as the statistics from 'The Yeni Gun newspaper,' adds credibility to your arguments. Specific figures and real-world references help in emphasizing your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • widespread availability
  • convenience
  • negatively affecting
  • obesity
  • heart diseases
  • diabetes
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • aggressive marketing strategies
  • eating habits
  • preferences
  • time-saving option
  • hectic schedules
  • accessible meal solution
  • diversity in food options
  • different cuisines
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