Many criminals commit further crimes as source as they released from prison What do you think are the cause of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?
It is undeniable that
,
more and more crimes are increasing with time . Remove the comma
apply
And most
of them are Correct word choice
Most
after
Correct word choice
apply
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
leave
jail and again Fix the infinitive
to leave
engaged
in similar crimes . These things are done by some wrong steps of Wrong verb form
engage
society
and government, so criminals are helpless to do the same thing . In this
,essay I going to discuss are causes and relevant solutions to decrease this
.
On the one hand, crime rates are often increased in urban areas due to
a vast population. Back on the track , lawbreakers again shifted to the same work beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
a
Correct article usage
apply
society
will seen
them asChange the verb form
see
a
bad eye view. Add a missing verb
having a
Community
do not give attentionCorrect article usage
The community
as
a negative way . Change preposition
in
In addition
, not provided
Wrong verb form
provide
then
a work services
so they Correct the article-noun agreement
work services
a work service
are again do
Change the verb form
are again doing
same
thing as they Change the article
the same
earlier
.
For,example, private companies and other Add a missing verb
did earlier
business
usually need Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
a
respected employees or workers for their company. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Thus
, they do not give any chance to lawbrakers
to Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
shown
their talent and Change the form of the verb
show
hard-work
throughout their lives. Correct your spelling
hard work
Similarly
, drastically criminals are come
from poor Change to the active voice
come
have come
background
so they Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
didn't
have any specific field to join after completing their imprisonment. So that they join bad companies again to fulfils their needs . Wrong verb form
don't
Further
, on
Change preposition
in
this
same profession.
Government
have to solve the problem by giving possibilities to ganglands . Add an article
The government
Like
give them a hand skill between their Add the punctuation
Like,
prisonment
. So they can Correct your spelling
imprisonment
independent
and earn money by Add a missing verb
be independent
create
something. Change the verb form
creating
This
also
help
them to maintain their financial status . Change the verb form
helps
Moreover
, society
has to adapt
them Correct your spelling
adopt
along with
motivate them to live thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
respectfully in the community without any sacrifice, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
things make a wide change in thoughts enhanced to be positive of them . Change the determiner
these
As a
major consequence is that Correct word choice
A
nation
have to improve the Fix the agreement mistake
nations
literary
rate so more and more Replace the word
literacy
youngester
Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
developed
their education and Wrong verb form
develop
followed
Wrong verb form
follow
aims
.
In conclusion, positiveness Correct pronoun usage
their aims
change
Change the verb form
changes
a
whole syllabus of crimes . Government and Correct article usage
the
society
have to make a vide
change in thoughts and thinking, Correct your spelling
video
however
, this
effective ideas Correct determiner usage
these
plays
a significant role Change the verb form
play
for
the upcoming ages .Change preposition
in
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing paragraphs more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that logically flow from one point to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction, briefly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay to give a clearer structure.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas further with relevant and specific examples that support your main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and reinforces your position.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the causes of criminal behavior after imprisonment and suggests potential solutions, which is relevant to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay shows an attempt to structure around causes and solutions, which helps to address both parts of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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