Many criminals commit further crimes as source as they released from prison What do you think are the cause of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #source #prison

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It is undeniable that

Remove the comma

apply

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more and more crimes are increasing with time .

And most

Correct word choice

Most

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of them are

after

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

allow

Wrong verb form

allowed

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leave

Fix the infinitive

to leave

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jail and again

engaged

Wrong verb form

engage

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in similar crimes . These things are done by some wrong steps of

society

and government, so criminals are helpless to do the same thing . In

this

,essay I going to discuss are causes and relevant solutions to decrease

this

. On the one hand, crime rates are often increased in urban areas

due to

a vast population. Back on the track , lawbreakers again shifted to the same work

beacuse

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because

Correct article usage

apply

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society

will

seen

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see

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them as

Add a missing verb

having a

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bad eye view.

Community

Correct article usage

The community

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do not give attention

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a negative way .

In addition

, not

provided

Wrong verb form

provide

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then

a work services

Correct the article-noun agreement

work services

a work service

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so they

are again do

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are again doing

show examples

same

Change the article

the same

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thing as they

earlier

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did earlier

show examples

. For,example, private companies and other

business

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businesses

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usually need

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apply

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respected employees or workers for their company.

Thus

, they do not give any chance to

lawbrakers

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lawbreakers

shown

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show

show examples

their talent and

hard-work

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hard work

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throughout their lives.

Similarly

, drastically criminals

are come

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come

have come

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from poor

background

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backgrounds

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so they

didn't

Wrong verb form

don't

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have any specific field to join after completing their imprisonment. So that they join bad companies again to fulfils their needs .

Further

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show examples

this

same profession.

Government

Add an article

The government

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have to solve the problem by giving possibilities to ganglands .

Add the punctuation

Like,

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give them a hand skill between their

prisonment

Correct your spelling

imprisonment

. So they can

independent

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be independent

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and earn money by

create

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creating

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something.

This

also

help

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helps

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them to maintain their financial status .

Moreover

society

has to

adapt

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adopt

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them

along with

motivate them to live

thier

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their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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respectfully in the community without any sacrifice,

this

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these

show examples

things make a wide change in thoughts enhanced to be positive of them .

As a

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show examples

major consequence is that

nation

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nations

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have to improve the

literary

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literacy

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rate so more and more

youngester

Correct your spelling

youngster

youngsters

developed

Wrong verb form

develop

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their education and

followed

Wrong verb form

show examples

aims

Correct pronoun usage

their aims

show examples

. In conclusion, positiveness

change

Change the verb form

changes

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

whole syllabus of crimes . Government and

society

have to make a

vide

Correct your spelling

video

show examples

change in thoughts and thinking,

however

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

effective ideas

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

a significant role

for

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show examples

the upcoming ages .

Submitted by Jimmydehal090 on Mon Jan 23 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on organizing paragraphs more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that logically flow from one point to the next.

Coherence and Cohesion

In your introduction, briefly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay to give a clearer structure.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas further with relevant and specific examples that support your main arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and reinforces your position.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the causes of criminal behavior after imprisonment and suggests potential solutions, which is relevant to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay shows an attempt to structure around causes and solutions, which helps to address both parts of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

344 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Recidivism
Rehabilitation
Reintegration
Stigmatization
Social exclusion
Addiction
Vocational training
Peer pressure
Mentorship
Anti-discrimination laws
Restorative justice
Vocational training

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Many criminals commit further crimes as source as they released from prison What do you think are the cause of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that Financial School should be mandatory in schools. Others say that there are more important topics. Discuss both statement and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children should be required to do community service in their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates Tell them what your talks will be about And what equipment you require them to arrange

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.