IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at schools. Others believe that teenagers should focus only on the subjects that they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extent do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #schools #focus
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As
usuall
Correct your spelling
usual
usually
 there are five or more main
subjects
Use synonyms
 taught
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 schools which would represent
as
Change preposition
apply
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a particular courses
Correct the article-noun agreement
a particular course
particular courses
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher studies.
Fews
Correct your spelling
Few
 believe that pupils need to pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 every
subject
Use synonyms
 to enhance
Use synonyms
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
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. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
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substantial people trust that children have to choose
Add an article
a
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specific
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 where they are top ranked or fascinating to them. I disagree with the statement and discuss the importance of Every
subject
Use synonyms
 in
essay
Add an article
the essay
show examples
. On the one hand, choosing a particular
subject
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 is a wrong way to develop their
knowledge
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, because every theme
have
Change the verb form
has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own history which is vitally used in
further
Linking Words
 education.
In addition
Linking Words
, multiple
subjects
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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better
Add an article
a better
the better
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 way to build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
about
Change preposition
of
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new things. So children are early able to make
vise
Correct your spelling
wise
show examples
 decisions and good
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
 as well. For, example, if the teenager only
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
show examples
 to read English books which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
scoring
Correct article usage
a scoring
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subject
Use synonyms
 for
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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how
they
Add a missing verb
do they
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 get
knowledge
Use synonyms
 about
natural
Add an article
the natural
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 environment, disasters and how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society works
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is not
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
show examples
 way to
improves
Wrong verb form
improve
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 their
knowledge
Use synonyms
 it
is only helps
Change the verb form
only helps
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 when people choose their talent after experiencing Every field .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , clicking on
interested
Replace the word
interesting
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subjects
Use synonyms
 or which they are best after some time students get bored
from
Change preposition
with
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 similar chapters and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will change their courses to another
subject
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, they face many implications throughout
understand
Change the verb form
understanding
show examples
 the concept of topics.
Mean while
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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grasping every type of
knowledge
Use synonyms
 tell us about
a
Correct article usage
the
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 possibilities of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 . So
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 adapt
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
 best and
Correct quantifier usage
most interested
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interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 in
undergraduation
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
. For, instance , if pupils choose only science
subjects
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 so they do not solve the calculation which is important for every individual in each field . In conclusion, all
subjects
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 are matters in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school life to
enhanced
Change the form of the verb
enhance
show examples
 the experience
about
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life . Every
subject
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own importance which they get a good source of job prospects in
further
Linking Words
 ages.
Submitted by Jimmydehal090 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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