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Band 4

Since most information about culture and history can be found on the internet, museum are not needed anymore.To what extent do you agree?

#information #culture #history #internet #museum
Due to the advancement of Technology nowadays information related to culture and history
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 vastly digitised and easily available on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Therefore
,some people think the physical existence of
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 is not required anymore.
However
,
personally
Add a comma
,personally
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 disagree with
such
 thinking.
Firstly
,
Generally
Add a comma
,Generally
show examples
 a
museum
 itself is a building of very fine and antique design which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 built on
such
 purpose so that it represents a feeling of remembering the memorable and glorious past of any nation by keeping records related to any special events which are mostly war,
independce
Correct your spelling
independence
,arts,sculpture,monuments,photos,pictures etc.So, when the citizens
visits
Change the verb form
visit
show examples
 there, they can get an overwhelming feeling of recollecting
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 history in a very short time and gather knowledge.For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 have ''
kohinoor
Change the capitalization
Kohinoor
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 diamond',Queen victoria's gift items
on
Change preposition
in
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Possession. The feeling of watching ancient
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
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in
Change preposition
with
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 open eyes and knowing the story behind
themare
Correct your spelling
them is
 tremendous and totally different from just watching their photos on the internet.
Secondly
,
Museum
 is a tourist place which has a great role in the economy. Museums are always visited by millions of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 government earns a lot of Revenue. To take an example,
paris
Change the capitalization
Paris
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 have many historical and old museums,sculptures,
monuments
Correct word choice
and monuments
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.
French
Correct article usage
The French
show examples
 government earns a lot of money from tourism.
In contrast
,the photos or history of old
jwelry
Correct your spelling
jewellery
,sculptures or
monument
Fix the agreement mistake
monuments
show examples
 can be found on
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 in a soft copy or
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
written
Add an article
the written
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 manner which can
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
full fill
 the hunger of
eye
Correct article usage
the eye
show examples
 but not the satisfaction of
soul
Correct article usage
the soul
show examples
 without visiting them physically.
last
 but not the least,in my view, museums should always be there physically as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 unique
structure
Fix the agreement mistake
structures
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 and residential
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 to keep inherited past safely
Submitted by gaiom.abdullah2014 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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