Today, many people spend less and less time in their homes. What are the reasons and what are the effects on individuals and society?

Spending
time
at
home
is essential for modern people to rest and recharge after finishing a busy long day.
However
, investigations showed a declining number of hours folks stay at
home
nowadays.
This
is a result of various factors and certain effects can be expected. The increasingly busy schedule keeps people busy all day, leaving them little
time
for resting at
home
.
Firstly
, many employers demand their employees to work overtime to finish a project.
For example
, software engineers in China often have to work until midnight and over the weekends.
Besides
, city residents are often attracted by the endless entertaining activities so they prefer to have parties or watch movies with peers
instead
of going
home
.
Lastly
, for commuters living in the
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
to save rentals, there is not much
time
left for them to stay in their rooms given the long hours spent in cars, subways, buses, or trains.
This
phenomenon presents both positive and negative effects on individuals and
society
. On one hand, individuals may earn/save more money and explore different possibilities in their life.
Society
can
also
expect faster economic growth from the overtime work and entertainment of the population.
Nevertheless
, negative effects like the reduced happiness index in the
society
due to
the lack of quality rest of its residents can never be neglected as it will inevitably affect the sustainability of the development of the area. In conclusion, a lot of people are spending less
time
at
home
for a variety of reasons, and it displays both advantages and disadvantages for individuals and
society
.
Submitted by ssliao on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by clearly linking different parts of the essay together to create a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened by providing a more substantial overview and a stronger summary of the main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well supported, but consider providing more specific examples and evidence to further strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The response is generally complete, but ensure all aspects of the question are fully addressed and give balanced consideration to both the reasons and effects of spending less time at home.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, but elaboration on the negative effects and potential solutions would enhance the depth of analysis.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the reasons and effects of spending less time at home, which will strengthen the argument and make the essay more convincing.
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