IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In spite of the advances made in agricultural, many people still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #people #case
Farming high-quality products when more individuals have no meal in their
stomach
Fix the agreement mistake
stomachs
show examples
.
Firstly
 The family no enough cash
hence
 no eat
food
 and are hungry.
Secondly
. Government organizations have seen yet done
this
 problem.
To begin
 with,most of the crowd not eating drink or technological advances belong to a poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
For example
, in ,India no jobs have most people
consequently
,
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 have enough money to, not eat snacks in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 soul Neither hard work in their life. But, do
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 properly in their life As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they eat
food
 and their family not live
hungry
Change the adjective
hungrily
show examples
. Because provided
food
 to his family as if, their family
happy
Add a missing verb
was happy
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 time.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 In most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the countries
show examples
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 most people have good money, while, help more and more people
otherwise
, they no eat
food
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the time and
hungry
Add a missing verb
are hungry
show examples
.
for example
 if they are hungry death causes and
this
 is wrong, whereas, provide foodstuff and eating bread they persons
although
 prey god the person earn money more and more and we eat cooking.when government see that who, hungry in their country to provide
food
 contents help to themselves too, As though, happy in his life. In conclusion.
Most
Add an article
The most
show examples
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
 are hungry
hard
Change preposition
for hard
show examples
 work than easily provide cuisine for their family , Government planning to provide cooking to hungry
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
.
Submitted by mahasingh1154 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: